Egret versus Swan

 Egret:

What you want to beat your wings for you lapping labrador

You lolloping lady of lake

Gliding graceful like a rake

Sucking up all the algae

Filtering through leaf

Sifting spattering beak

Gurgling and gargling

Like a kid at MacDonald's

Really beggars belief

And you call yourself a classy bird?

The King's own bird indeed

Well I think you need a reality check

This rhein ain't your own private beach

Get on over to the other ditch

You go and swan it up with the rich

This here patch is Egret land

You slippery bacon flitch

Swan:

Well, never in my life have I heard

Such words issue from the mouth of a thief

You come over here from Africa

And think you can steal my reef

Immigration indeed, I say

Well white is right, but then I say

I'd rather have a cormorant anyday

Than this bull ass biting beast

Go and huddle with the cattle

Go on an peck up their fleas

These banks are ours I say

This ain't the Mediterranean sea

You could have landed anywhere but

You chose the Wetlands of Shapwick Heath!

Egret:

Listen here my swanee whistle 

you've been blowing your hot air

If you could blow like a thorny thistle

Why don't you go blow over there?!

We Egrets have been migrating sure

From many a foreign shore before

But here we've camped, and here we've stamped

Our mark like a proud cow's hoof

Indeed if you need to hear the proof

We live in the trees see we can build nests

Hidden in the branches for we are blessed

By the Egyptian God Osiris

And it's in his footprint that we walk the Iris

You'll be flagging on the flag stones

And I'm making no bones

About it

We've got skills you can't kill

Or ever hope to match

Hopping over stepping stones

Looking for a fish to catch

If you want to lily pad

You lily livered beast

Then go along and motorhome

You know it's best at least

Swan:

I think that you should read the tome

Of bird etiquette related manual

To show you the map of your way home

That you should be able to handle

But don't come to me with your complaint

That there ain't enough room for us both

You will have to push the boat out

It's covered in your oily greasy

And slip along back to Rome

And the better fortunes find your feet

Than in this dome that is my home

My kingdom

Of Swan retreat

I'm calling up my royal friends

I've got friends in high places you know

I can get you kicked out the country

If I just wave my wings

So don't you dare, try to scare

Or insult a swan at leat

The only ones you need to phone

Are your friends on loser's street

Tamara

 D Tamara, Tamara, E she's gone away

Em I wish tomorrow D7 that she could stay 

D I love ya Tamara, E I've gotta say

 Em I've got love D7 to borrow

G And a bed D in the hay

D But Tamara, Tamara

E She's gone away

Em Tamara, Tamara, D I wish that you'd stay

G Tomorrow, Tomorrow D7 is a long, long way

Em To wait for Tamara D today

D Oh Tamara, oh Tamara, E she's faraway

Em She'll be gone til tomorrow

D7 Down the lonely highway

Oh Tamara, Oh Tamara, she's the one that got away

The love that we cherished

has been threshed like the hay

Well tomorrow, well tomorrow

Is just another day

Still in the hollow morrow

I'll be wishing she'd stayed

Oh Tamara, oh tamara , she's faraway

And in the light of the morrow

I'll think of promises made

Oh tomorrow, oh tomorrow

Is just another day

I'll be thinking of Tamara

like yesterday's hay

Winds a blowing, winds a blowing

And the chimes they do say

Don't you dwell on Tamara

For tomorrow is another day

The whale in me or Jonah the man

 The whale I am

The whale 

in me

I swallowed a whale

I have a big mouth

So they told me down south

And I just wail free

Oh the wail in me

Just had to come out

Oh try to be a man

But there's a whale in me

I talk then I spout

A lot of nonsense

And I'm often blowing hot air

When I walk I tend to beat my own tail

And throw my arse in the air

And when I go down

Oh when I go down

I do so without any care

For the man that I am

Aint worth a damn

But for the whale in me

They told me I was Jonah

But I'm more Jonah lomu

They said I was unlucky 

To be swallowed by a whale

But it was my lucky day

My sister Joan of Ark

Was sailing up with Noah

She said Whoa!

I said Hey!

Won't you give a man a hand

Out of a dark interior

Joan of Ark

She caused a spark

To burn a fire strong

Inside the belly of the whale

Which turned to jelly

Then got a smelly pong

And the whales tongue did burn

He spat me out

And Joan rescued me from the sea

I ended on an island

Full of all the brown boys and girls

Smiling and a laughing

Look at that man with a whale

In his belly

I looked and realized the whale was now inside of me

Whereas I'd been inside of it

And now every time I spit

I spout

I've got that feeling he wants out

Moon wave

 The dogs were howling because the moon was broke

And everyone thought the sun was a joke

But I knew better and knew it a yoke

Of an egg on Easter day

But should I say?

Oh should I heck!

How many have died or broke their neck

Trying to climb the ladder to laugh and play

When they got egg on their face

No, space

Is not the place for me

I'd rather stay humble, on bended knee

And celebrate just being me

born on Christmas day

(I wasn't by the way)

That was just for dramatic effect

To end the poem

In a convenient way

Now it's ended

I think

Anyway

History

 History isn't even a thing

If you don't remember

What someone else is yelling

It's just like a dream

Of Goya's scream

Or perhaps it's a beautiful thing

You can paint it as you wish

For it's just a dish

Set for the eating

You sit down to dine

With lamb and fine wine

But you find yourself repeating

History isn't really a thing

It's just a memory painting

All there is is now

So let's start living

Edelweiss the gangster

 Edelweiss, Edelweiss

I'm not good and half as nice

Look at me in my clothes of vice

Edelweiss, Edelweiss

Possession

 Once when I was young

I once had a love,

A love all of my own

But then a storm came along

And swallowed my song

And now I am all alone

The love in the trees

The birds know the breeze

The song of the wind they own

But their love has wings

And it does sing

Of song all on its own

I knew about the bees

And have sold many fleas

In the market of the lost souls

Who sweetly pass the day

Making their hay

Singing of the nothing they own