Pan

How has it all panned out?

In Panborough of the pandemic's

Panhandled attempt

At playing the Pan pipes

Blowing their Pandora's box

Wide open

Panoramic you might say

Pandemonium yes, perhaps

Panic, certainly, by the panful

Pantheons on the terracotta park flooring

Panthers leaping from panning cameras

Sweeping down the Ecuadorian jungle panoramas

And then see Pan, his face a contorted, spurgled

blood-strained grin

As he scours the river for the gold panning

Guinea-guzzling, tin-pan-alley, Pancake-men 

who lay their bottom dollar

Down on a wager they will strike it rich

Ah the itch of the Pancreas, as it exudes its final toxins

And chemical compounds -pancreatic, a panoply of

Poisons percolating through pantopia

It's just like the pantomime of the pangolins

Who started it all

Night at the Silver Screen

 I tried to hit the nail on the head

My hammer was as flat as iron

I tried to shoot the elephant dead

But I ended up killing the lion

I tried to raise an army instead

But I raised a merry day in hell

For it all fell like lumps of lead

From the church roof after a shell

I tried to spell the good

From out the eye of evil

But the cult leader was well

In with the damned devil

I sold his soul to Satan

And he gave me coins of silver

Which I put in the slot machine

And earnt myself a dollar

I tried to get even

And got God on my side

And we went down to deal with them

But our words felt hollow inside

So I spoke out to the moon

Can you give me back my silver spoon

I am poor but with your boon

I hope to take Eve to the movies (soon)

The moon said why good on ya Sam

I said no I'm Adam, Sam's my Uncle

He said why Goddam I didn't ask for your carbuncle

Just go and fetch me a Rabbit ham

And throw in a side of Turkey

I thought 'Why? Who does he think I am?

His private messenger or Mercury?'

Eve said forget it I'm going out with Mars

He knows how to treat a lady, and he drives fast cars

Well I said I can walk you to the moon

But it would be quicker if you pulled on this silver balloon

Eve sort of screamed then in exasperation

And then she popped my hopes and dreams

With one giant explanation

That it was one small step for man to buy her a goddam ticket

But a giant leap for a bozo like me, so I better lick it

With that she stamped her feet, and I licked her stamp

I mean I kissed her boot heels, which made me feel like a tramp

Soon though she calmed down and we got to the silver screen

It was playing a version of the little lost lamb, as if she was my Bo peep

And I said I've forgotten who I am, and I think I need some sleep

She said baby you know you're Adam and you need to count some sheep

So there I was dreaming while this movie started showing

And she was eating pop-corn and I thought it started snowing

But that was just her kisses as they were falling on my cheek

And we were like the birds and bees in knowing

That we were oh so weak

Then the credits started rolling

And it seemed the show was over

And I looked back at the musical score

And it said courtesy of the Mars Rover

That kind of killed the mood

And I drove home in a sulk

Since she said I was being rude

She might as well be dating the Hulk

At that I turned green

And it was just like in that movie we had seen

When the monster goes chasing down the limosene

And they both end up in the river

So with a shiver she said

That makes me quiver

And so I shot her an arrow

I cannot say I missed her by much

But of course her mind was quite narrow

And even if she grew in her heart

I was still missing my extra dart

So I started by kissing, she got up with a start

From the sofa that was leaning over

And it was then I saw the mars rover

He had been hanging around all along

And like a dog I tried to run him over

But he only increased his swan song

Oh for the Martians, the red and the green

Who come down to earth to fight in a scene

That looks just like they came from the silver screen

But in fact it was just an earth man acting so mean

Eve said why do we need an invasion

When we already have our own privation

Of love and harmony and human persuasion

When one will wants to bend the other's to their own

Still I could see the little green man 

Had her all riled up over a bean can

Whether spilt or piled or drained those human beans

Don't add up to much compared to life on the silver screen

Conflict in time

 Well the ring it was broken

And well the geese they had flown

And it was as if we had never spoken

Like a breeze down a deep old well

But if you choose yours over mine

You got know it was just a conflict in time

And I saw the language of token

Being spoken at the grand hotel

And I saw the window was broken

Just like our love cast a spell

Well if you prove you need me and mine

I can say it feels just like a conflict in time

And the fuse was lit in the valley

And it lit up the dark caves as well

And the turn of the shaft of the drill cut the draft

From the miners who tell

Me all about the sun dials that they miss trapped down there in hell

But if you blow out their candle and laugh down the line

You can't stand there and tell me it was too much to handle

When we both know it was just a conflict in time

Yes I thought I knew how you were stuck

Yes I lifted the bell, that hung on your photograph

Of you riding right into hell,

And I rang you on the telegraph

But the operator complained of the knell

When she rang off your voice came so soft

Saying darling well why can't you tell

That it is not just how you left that night

It was the light down the stair well

That flickered on and off, like a witch's cough

And I needed you to stay on the line

Well what I need it doesn't matter she said then the line went dead, 

she hung off

I knew then why the angels fear to tread

Because it's all just a conflict in time

Rabbit moon

 Who would have thought it

Miles after miles

The drunk could have caught it

From a football shirt pile

Who'da thought it

The still of the night

And the vital outside

And the chill moonlight

Who'd a thunk the beams be so bright

Like a rabbit that is caught by the man in the moon

Run on your moon walk rabbit

Run backwards through the cartoon frames

What's up Doc?

And Who'da thought it

There's a satellite with your name on it

Rabbit moon and rabbit star

That breeds like a harvest, harvester

A vested interest, arrest the vest

And take the costumes off the rabbit pest

Exterminate the bug, blast the rest

Kill them by the dozens

There'll be rivers of blood and harpoon moons

In shimmering skies

That are full of humpback whales

Singing sweet lullabies

And it is all just a fluke

With a lucky rabbit's foot

The charm's worked on the man in the moon

Because now he has rabbit's ears

And an itchy rabbit nose

And it twitches every time he lies

Oh look how it grows

And now it's gotten so long it's nearly reached the earth

Then all the men and women will walk up

The step of lies that gave birth

To the dream of everyone

That they may leave their lives

And live in a wonderland

If they but close their eyes

Tupac vs Meare cats

I am so English

I never had no hoes

No jumping joes

No drive by blows

In my local estate where, god knows,

I deigned to go

Roughing it, slumming it

With the mother fucking G.I posers

In their faux army costumes

Make you wanna consume

The exhaust fumes yo

No I never had the bitches

All we had were rhynes and ditches

Making dens in the hedgerows

Down St Mary's road yo!

Never had no shootings

Just Matthew Bennet with his mountain bike 

and loose shoe strings

He told us he had a self-balancing handle bar

But he had rolled up balls of clay so they rattled in thar

Playing cops and robbers on the curb

Never messing with no herb

We never turned any tricks

Only skate boards and scalextrics

Never shot no breeze

Only climbed in the apple trees 

I only wanted to be good

Looking out for my neighbourhood

Then my friend said yo can you dig it? I said " I dug"

He said -What you wanna be litter bug

For?

He said it when he came into the hood

Where I used ride with Matthew Wood

And the boys from Down's Orchard estate

Yeah the were rebels acting like jail birds outside their front gate

But I knew the Kirlegate estate posse

Were a match for those carboard hussies

No we never had no guns

Except the water pistols

That we got from our mums, yo!

Got from our mums

We never had no bronx, the bloods or the crips

But what we had was Millbatch, Bradley James, Charlene Hares

Who sometimes wore jeans with rips

That was where you went if you wanted to catch

A tennis ball to the head

Come out in bumps

That was the mother fucking dumps

Instead we had fields to run in and play soldiers

We had peat mounds to climb and roll down and over

We had play fights that never amounted to much

Until one day love struck, put a spanner in the works

Because then we all had to grow up 

Outside the doors

Outside the doors of the hospital, no help can you find

If you are the poor wretch

Who falls foul of an ailment or bind

The nurses cannot help you

And the doctors cannot say

Here take this poor chap

And be a good fellow you better be on your way

 

Outside the doors of the museum no artefacts or finds

Are safe from the curator’s prison or their stealing eyes

The Elgin Marbles are one thing, when Elgin lost his

Greece rose in applause, for the memory of theft cuts deep as lies.

 

 

Outside the doors of the monastery, you may find a monk

Who having got out of the habit of celibacy continued to get drunk

And staggering around in his gown, the others would not let him in

For outside the doors of the monastery all men are marked by sin

 

Outside the doors of heaven Saint Peter blows his horn

And announces to all the herald Angels that Christ on Earth was born

But he won't be allowed in heaven until he can prove his side

Does he count himself with mankind or with God above abide?

 

Or will he walk down to Hell and knock those doors wide open?

Telling all those lost souls that their lives are his as he has chosen

To live on in an afterlife and save those left from misery and strife

That Heaven's doors will not be closed to those who follow his advice

 

Outside the doors of the city, the outcasts beg and steal

And they fight each day for bread and water from which to make a meal

And no one can deny their suffering, yet the city folk turn a blind eye

Because outside the doors of the city well, you either live or die

The news is broken

Breaking news inside my bed

Breaking news inside my head

Breaking news and breaking bread

Don't worry the news is broken

 

Breaking me, and breaking you

Breaking what is false and true

Breaking good and breaking bad

Gets us so we don't know what we had

 

Breaking faces and make up too

Breaking car chases and cocktail screws

Breaking beaches and breaking seas

The ice is broken, it has broken free

Oh mother, the news got broken

 

Out the bag and out a mile

Into space like a missile

Breaking moon rock on the moon

Breaking mars bars, and bending spoons

 

No one tells the truth just lies

Getting like you can't believe your eyes

And no one knows which way to turn

Breaking students are too broken to learn

 

You can try shutting your eyes

But they just open upon new lies

Same old faces, and the world got sold

But nobody told the news of the world

Now the news is broken

Oh, how the news got broken

 

It's a sad thing to have to say

That the truth can't have its day

And sadder still to see fake news got its way

Oh mother, the news is broken

 

Oh mother I had to be sure

So I checked behind the kitchen door

No one fake is hiding there

 Yes the news is fixed like a stare

Like the horses and football matches

You can try to beat the egg before it hatches

But that won’t get you anywhere

Or you may choose to light the fuse and blow the news wide open

But its cover is already blown, yes, the news is broken

 

Well it is like in the morning,

when the sun comes without warning

Don't look too long into to its face

Because you'll go blind and they'll find no trace

You'll get lost between the lines

Like a sheep lost inside the pines

When the wolves of Wall Street howl

You will know the newspaper growl

 

Or you may lay down and play dead

Like the high ups and the plebs

Who ate whatever they were fed

Yes the new got broken

 

Oh the news is like a fine lace

That falls upon the world

And it should walk with grace

Like a lady wearing pearls

 

But instead, it is downtrodden, it is hidden in the mud

It comes from all kinds of places squirming, wriggling through blood

And we love the guts and gore

Oh we love the broken egg

Yes and if you should abhor 

Then you'll find you're dropped down a peg

 

Oh, the news, the news got broken

By the fishermen laying lines

Out on the public ocean

Trying to catch fish upon which to dine

 

And willingly and pliable the public take the bait

And swallow up with love and greed

All things they're taught to hate

 

Yes, the news, the news got broken

By newspaper men in capes

Out to save the world from

All those things we just can't escape.

 

Like living together without conflict

Living and loving a fight

Loving and dying to recover

From a sea sickness or a fear of flight

 

And the rules, the rules got broken

But that is quite alright.

Because the newspaper men were the ones who wrote them

And they're the ones who must be right

 

Yes the news, the news got broken

And I say it in the drowning West

That the Eastern tiger is growling

And is hungry for the rest

 

He'll devour all the sacred cows

And steal from the witch’s coven

The food that made a meal of vows

Set out in cookie cutter American ovens

 

Yes, the news, the news got broken

And now it needs a fix

But what is offered is but a token

No better than a Weetabix

 

So, sell all the stories now!

Sell them to the other side!

For they will be writing in their letters

About how no more Oxford commas they can abide

Yes, the news, the news got broken!

 

You shovel shit down on Fleet street

Where the mighty flagships meet

But it’s not the end of the world that taste sweet

But the lies that set off the whole darned fleet

 

And you can look into the mirror

And try to figure how to get thinner

But the world is small enough

For the daily news to reach the rough

 

Out on the golfing green

Where the Rolls Royce and limousines

Are parked by the eighteenth hole

Where the newspaper lost its soul

Oh mother, oh yes the news is broken