Buzzed out

I'm in the Buzzard BnB in Bedfordshire

I'm sleeping on the wing

In a feather down mattress

My pillow is of duck down

And my bed fellow a funny fucker

She's a buzzard the same as me

Oh a real Buzzcock cocker

I'm in the Buzzard B 'n' B, 

Come pack up your sheet

I'll go down to breakfast in the morning

Claw my way down the stairs

I pass a Golden Eagle in his Eyrie Attic

And Sparrow in his window box

A lot of us Buzzards here we lost our nest

We flew it long ago

In the long flight West

Looking for a new home

In a countryside so green

Yet we ended up in Shepton Mallet

If you know what I mean

The streets are pretty busy,

well the streets are pretty clean

The houses are full and empty

Helps with the homeless scene

Some have too much

And many don't have any

And they think they'll take a shot

At the national lottery penny

But no they never win

Only scrape by a livin'

Yet the pallets keep on turning

The lorry wheels keep on spinning

I'm not saying it matters

I'm just a buzzard on the brink

I speak my beak

And think my think

If they start policing that

Then the whole pontoon might sink

We'd be back in 1984

And pigeon holing people

Based on their way of thinking

Let me see if you will commit a crime

My monitoring machine is blinking

well in a sense we already have it

With a google can of beans

GDPR and algorithms who know where you've been

Think they will predict where you are going

If in your thoughts they've seen

Some evidence of intention to a crime scene

It's a fair cop governor, I've been circling around

this field of dreams

Longer than my tail feathers

Shorter than a stream

I'm trying to catch a little mouse

But all I can find is carrion

If you call me a predator on the prowl

I'll scream and shout and swing my towel

In such a carry on

This town is a birds nest baby

It's full of stick houses yeah

And all the match stick people

Go about combing flames out of their hair

And each fiery tongue licks the next

As every wing is clipped

By a cuckoo government 

who've taken over the nest

So show me back to Bedfordshire

Where I may rest my head

In the Buzzard B'n'B 

back in my home

Bed stead

New Life

 I went to the supermarket Today

And they said that`ll be seven thirty one,

How do you you wish to pay

Well card has five pound minimum

You want a bag

No I want a life

Oh they`re on two for one offer

Very good said I,

I'll take two, 

One for me and one for my wife

I know she'd like a new life

So there we were I'd purchased my new life

With my Potatoes and yoghurt

And I could n't wait to get it home

and try it out

Back at home

I opened my new life

But it wasn`t all it said it would be

It wasn`t always shiny

Blade runner

 You want to run with the blades

You want to hold the glass in your hands

Running on shattered dreams

And holding broken knives

Through door ways of perception

In pyramids of inception

Where birth of new life

Had its conception

Animal or human

Soul or hole

Love or all else above

As a way of introduction -presentation skills one

 I'd like to thank my mother and father for having sex and mixing sperm and egg, for if it wasn't for them, I would n't be here today able in some ways to write in English. Thank you, now on with my presentation.

God's Gift

 He thought he was 

God's gift to women

And Macho man number one

He thought he was

The best thing since sliced bread

Best thing under the sun

He thought he was God's gift to women

And a real walking demigod

But well you know while he was talking

All I thought was what a sod

I thought flippin' heck he's joking

He must be like King Midas on Speed

Every thing he touches

Turns to Gold and that's just greed

I thought you shall not worship false idols

And this Pop star is a weed

He keeps growing in all the flowers

And showering them in his seed

Well God's gift to women

Macho hombera uno numbero one

Your ego's writing cheques so inhuman

You must be off the cast of Top gun

He's got a body of an Adonis

Like a statue of the Greeks 

He's so phoney when he phones us

It's like a plastic doll who speaks

He's making mince meat of ponies

And he's talking pie in the sky to bits

He's keeping mum and she loves his bum

And his auntie thinks he's fit

Oh he's God's gift to women alright

He's God's idea of a joke

He's a spanner in the works

And a stick in the spokes

He's turned the applecart over tonight

And there's a burning chariot wheel

And Achilles has twisted his heel

Oedipus Rex with his mother complex

Told him he would not stand up in court

But King Midas wrote cheques

And his gold finger flexed

And he ended up getting more than he thought

He's a disaster on two feet

He means to cause you harm

Don't listen to his Cheat sheet

Don't fall for his charm

He'll get you undercover

Then like a fire raise an alarm

And like James Bond he kills his lovers

While his mother inherits the farm

He's got too many arms

Like an octopus

and a finger in every pie

I wish he would go but he's opted with us

Rather than the spirit in the sky

I'm in the soup with you

 Farewell to Stroganoff

Hello Minestrone

Goodbye Tomato and Basil

Hiya Carrot and Coriander

Oh you soups

you soups

Vegetable and fruit too

Come dance in the balustrade

I'm in the soup ballet with you

Wrap your lovely slop all around

My bones

I want to feel you inside me

Like a warm wet tone

Ringing in the darkness

Yes you can ring my bell

Hello Minestrone

Stroganoff you can bog off

Tomato and basil go to hell

Peter Gint

 Peirre Gint

My life

In a glint

Doldrums of silence

In the Norwegian slumps

Slumming it it,

Bumming it in the swamps

Hope of a hump back whale

Who jumps

And splashes down

Ah he is stubborn in his soul

This man

But the sensitive love of nature

And righteousness

Is triumphant

After all his wanderings

He returns

But feels

Or thinks he feels

Will she still be there?

Is there a hope

She might still love him?