Mulligatawny Owl

The Mulligatawny owl, went on its Mulligatawny prowl

Looking for the mice, with that curry spice

They had recently moved into the district

And brought their cooking and cultural instinct

And it was far from the Tawny owl's own taste

But then again he thought I do so like my mouse paste

He enjoyed spreading it on his bread at home

Up in the tree where he lived all alone

Apart from some squirrels

And a brace of rabbits

Who dug under the roots

As was their habit

And the squirrels always said how gross

That he eats these mice

Because they liked to boast

They only ate the finest acorn from the oak

And this they kept as their private joke

And the owl stayed at home

As he heard their chitter-chatter

He thought those pesky squirrels

What a clatter of skitter-scatter

They make as they scurry up and down the trunk

He wished he could sleep and that he were drunk

But he remembered the mice

And thought what paradise

For tonight when I awake, I'll go out and hunt

Meanwhile the mice were down in their holes

Cooking up something nice to share with the voles

And the word got around that some special creatures were in town

And the smell of their cooking it wafted on the coals

And oh what a hullabaloo it caused

When the mice came out with their mulligatawny soup in their paws

And fed the other rodents in kingly sized portions

Just as they would do on the Indian sub-continent

And everyone said: oh thank you so much

For this food you have prepared which we eat for our lunch

It is really more than a mouse should do

To prepare for ourselves such a delicious stew

So the Mulligatawny mice went home

All gleaming with pride and warmed to the bone

And it was getting late in the morning so they thought

Lets go to bed

So they did just that and went and rested their heads

But when the day began to turn into dusk

They awoke, inside them with a hungry lust

And looked in their cupboards and checked in their pots

But they were all out of their precious ingredients

What we need one said, named Meg, are some nuts

We could ground them like the almonds we brought with us

And add with them eggs from the chicken huts

Which we stole, said the vole, with a certain kind of distrust

I say what we need are some Lentils then said Jo, and Nel said

Lets try the Farmstead, I'm sure we could go

And inside the kitchen cupboards - I know a backdoor in - 

We will find jars of the stuff, though they're starting to thin

While others sourced the carrots and the onions from the field

They all went about preparing for their evening meal

And now for the spice, all the mice rejoined

You don't have to ask twice, that is one thing we purloined

Meanwhile the Mulligatawny owl, went out on his second Mulligatawny prowl

And he was quite peckish, infact a ravenous raptor was he

All tied up in his excitement, he quickly flew out of the tree

And he scanned all around the horizon and the field

Searching his line of sight, his eyes on his meal

There were foxes abroad, and hares boxing in furrows

And square looking toads, and rabbits peeping from burrows

And up in the sky the crows criss-crossed overhead, 

they were on their way to the parliament, like ministers of the dead

And the owl wandered on his path softly winding

His feather beat quiet, like raider in deciding

Cutting his way through the cool gloaming air

With his razor sharp claws, hanging like knives right there

I'm looking for a mouse, have you seen him? Who Who?

He lives in a house, like an underground zoo

And it's full of the vermin, the pests of the field

And I'm the pest controller come to pick up my meal

I'm looking for a mouse, have you seen him? You Hoo?

The type that is a louse, a degrader of twoo

And do you know him? Who who?

Do you know him? You Hoo?

If you see him, do let me know

Or next I'll be coming for you!

Quite unbeknownst to the terror from the air

The mulligatawny mice invaders were scouting their lair

And had found a few good portions of carrots and peas

And were carrying them back home, when who did they see?

But the little vole who came running up to them to plead

Please go home mice, before the Mulligatawny owl makes you bleed!

A Mulligatawny owl, how can that be?

Is he as fast as a fox or as quick as a crow

Is he as clever as a cat, or as slow as a cow

As dumb as a duck, up the top of a gum tree

Oh fee, fie fo fum

Who's afraid of this owl? How come?

Not me said Nel, not me cried Jo, well as you see said Meg

We aren't afraid so

Neither should you be, in the grand scheme of things

This owl is not a threat to us

He is but a nothing

Well the owl kept flying on his aerial comb of his surroundings

He was an ace pilot

Quick as a wink, if he spotted a mink, he swooped on lonely vole

But this doesn't make a meal he said as he swallowed him whole

No what I'm looking for I cannot seem to find

There is a scent of stewing, of the tempting kind

And If I should follow it back to its source

Surely then I'll make my meal full course

So with his eyes he scoured and with his nose he sniffed

And with all of these powers an owl knows what he's whiffed

A Mulligatawny mouse he cried, and his big eyes opened wide

A Mulligatawny mouse whoopy, A mulligatawny mouse I'll have for my tea

And the Owl swept down from the sky and landed near the house

Of the Mulligatawny mice pie, and he said to himself

What's that I can smell cooking

But a Mulligatawny sauce I know well without looking

And who's that I can hear with my great owl ear

But a Mulligatawny mouse tea party coming near

And just as he predicted the other mice of the field

Were trooping their way to their evening meal

Which they planned to share with their mouse pals

Well that was as near they got when they saw the owl

It swooped down upon them, a white flash from the air

And Nel was carried off, Meg cried where's Nel she's not there

She's not here either exclaimed Jo with a growl

Oh it was that pesky, white-winged, mulligatawny owl

Meanwhile Nel was being carried off into the night

When she came to, she saw white feathers and an imposing sight

The Mulligatawny owl's beak protruding in front

She wanted to cry, but then she thought up a stunt

From her mouse pouch, she brought a pawful of spice

And then she lifted it to her snout and blew on it twice

And the powder flew up into the owl's beak and nose

And he sneezed - "A mulligatissue!" and released his great toes

And as she did fall Nel felt with her paws

And brought out on top of her a pair of her draws

And so slowly she floated back down on to earth

With her knickers as a parachute she knew what brief life was worth

Slowly she looked around from her clump of nettles 

and could see nothing in the pitch black, but felt unsettled

What else could be lurking in this patch of ground?

Could it be a fox or a cat or even a hound?

And which way was home, oh what a curse!

But at least now alone, with the owl it was worse

And to come out-unscathed, wow it was true

She couldn't believe what she'd managed to do

Just then a shrew came up and sniffed

And said are you that Nel, who the mice all have missed?

Nel said why yes I am she, now show me the way home

For so grateful I'll be, now I'm not out here all alone

When they arrived, the Mulligatawny stew was cooked

The others in a search party had been out and looked

But they soon met the shrew and their beloved Nel

And they toasted her return and rang the homecoming bell

Well what a story Nel had to tell

As they ate Mulligatawny soup by the old bell

And the Owl who was angry and hungry what's worse

Had to go home to hear the Squirrels chat - his curse

And if there's a moral to this story then let it be

That Mulligatawny dinner with a mouse is not free

And every lunch must be paid for, every grain has a price

Whether eaten by Mulligatawny owl or by three blind mice

Octopodimore roundabout

 Octopodimore roundabout

Is just about what an Octopus shouts

When he thinks it is too busy on the roads

While he is eating Spaghetti

While talking to a toad

And this kind of activity can be a dangerous thing

Especially if the toad begins to sing

Because like Pavarotti he loves to sing of things

That get his gilgotti and make his microwave ping

So he replies it's like Spaghetti junction round here

And then a Baloney Sandwich suddenly appears

And says Bologna, Bologna, well what'd I hear?!

Stop talking Baloney, you know there's nobody near

And he don't count - hey keep your hands on the wheel!

Mr Octopody you're making me feel kind of queer

Well I can't blame you, said the toad

I'm always telling him to keep his eyes on the road

Eyes on the road? Which eye may I ask yer, asked the spider

Which ever one you can, answered the eight legged outsider

Hey man, why are ya trying to push in here?

Can't you see there's plenty of room for the four of us?!

No five, cried the Beer, well would you look at the head on that said the toad

Then the Octopus started sipping it, the sandwich said "Mind the road!"

Don't drink and drive cried the beer, I've too much to live for cried the spider in fear

So now you're afraid of a little alcohol, hey man I'm no light weight I just want to keep my head clear

Well its too late for that said the heavyweight boxer, I'm finishing my dinner plate

Then I'm driving to Uttoxeter, you can't be serious Said the Octopus

Yes I am now my gloves are off, I'm not pulling any punches

Hang a left here said the toad with a moan,

No take a right, said the beer in barotone

"Well I thought I was the only one with a voice so deep!"

"Be quiet everyone the Octopus is asleep"

At the wheel! cried Baloney, well it makes me feel lonely

Boy said the Beer I must stronger than I knew

The heavyweight said who do you think you're talking to!

Then he started a fight in the back, but before it got bad

The car had gone off track onto the hard shoulder

Where chips flew off the block

And they came to a stop

Would you like fish with that?

Asked the little chief,

And then the line, like the front tyre, went flat

What have we all become?

I see in your face the lines I can trace

Back to where we used to run

Through fields and streams in our childhood dreams

Oh what have we all become? 

What have we all become?

You knock on my door, but its not like before

Too many years have past under the sun

Oh what have we all become?

We keep ourselves, like books on the shelves

Some change, fade to dust and some survive,

But strange how time aids and still keeps alive

These things in us that remind of someone

What have we all become?

And it just doesn't seem real, all these things that I feel

They just seem like melodies that are yet to be sung

What have we all become?

All the faces I've seen, show all the things that have been

But darling we've hardly begun

Yet what have we all become?

There are roads that cross in the desert, and tracks that meet in between

And paths we have taken, though some are forsaken

And some are rivers yet to be swum

So what have we all become?

I cross my arms and I wonder, I ponder on those misty things

They come in frightening thunder, they strike like lightning stings

As in my mind all their images hung

What have we all become?

I hold out my palms to catch a falling drop, 

And water is like a balm, that makes the pain stop

But the thought still remains when it's gone

What have we all become?

Trying to move

 I tried to move you through the Meer

I tried to love you, that much is clear

But did I tug too hard at your ear

Or did I lug around my baggage of fear

Who is in control, is it me or is it it?

I see the magpie and the cuckoo spit

But who is calling the crow to quit

Is it why I forgo all kinds of shit

I paid my penalty, I paid my price

So why still the enemy lives in paradise

I bought my ticket, I didn't ask twice

Yet still you'd give me plenty of your ice

What is there that I forgot to tie

Was it your cross I bear or mine

Do you sing where the leaves dry

Or stop and bear the tears I cry

I have been where you are sitting

There were many reasons for my quitting

But they all stem out of a fear of committing

And it is clear it's the atom I'm splitting

It will explode in my hands as a bomb

It will unfold like the sands I comb

It will turn up in the sea shoal tombes

That are read by all the fish headed blondes

And I am leaning into their wake

From the ship of all my mistakes

But I am yet to climb aboard

Oh what is life about my lord? 

Four Years

 Well you know four years in a lifetime

Is not so long

When you’re a child your heart and legs are strong

And then you grow older

And you do school too

You know four years in a lifetime

Is just something you do

 

Four years in a love life

Is like writing a book

Its full of highs and lows

And you become easily hooked

And some days it gets so bad

You just can’t let go

Four years in a love life

Is still just something you do

 

Four years for a swallow as everyone knows

Is from the summer haze to the winter throes

And they sleep on the wing, and they follow rainbows

Four years for a swallow, time flies just so

 

Well four years for a beggar, will beggar belief

For the places he sleeps on edge of the streets

And on top of park benches, or under shop windows

Fours years for a beggar is like trying on clothes

 

Four years for a thief doing hard time

Is like stealing his soul, behind steel bars that bind

But if you steal a heart then you ought to know

Four years apart, is four years left behind

 

Four years for a king, when shadows climb his walls

Fours years of silence, when dark times befall

And his castle becomes dreary, and his heart suffers no fools

Four years for a king is like a trouble that calls

 

Four years for me, is not four years for you

Four years for a crow, is not four but two

For she flies ever straight just like an arrow

While time like a river meanders below

 

And if I were you, then my four would be two

And if you were I then my two would soon go

Down into nothing, when the sweet wind blows

Four years is a nothing for the flowers of the meadow

A Telling Time

 I've been out the back of the wrongside of tomorrow

And I've gotten back what I beg, steal or borrow

And although I might lack the eyes to see through sorrow

When my tears dry, where they lead I must follow

And nature cried in the heartland of the sun

The creator tried to bury what he had begun

But bring forth Mary, bring back Jesus the son

And all of those quarries of moon rock by the ton

They fill up my stocking, they go knocking at my door

They slide down the bannister, of the memories of before

And pull open the cannister, the rocket ship that endures

Through space I'm now the traveller to a love I adore

I see her in the gardens, in the pearly realms

Where queens walk in the park under the boughs of Elms

And who knew their shoulder sparks would hold tight the helm

As the nation's ship goes sailing, though darkness overwhelms

She is my Captain, I am her slave

And as we go sailing through disaster, I try to master each wave

But if someone throws me a lifeline, I know it's myself I must save

And in the process rescue all my hopes and dreams from the grave

Three blind mice

 It was blindingly obvious,

But I didn't have a blind thing to do

I didn't have the first idea, not muddied nor clear

I didn't have a pot to piss in

Or a cross to bear

But I had you in my horizons

And I will plot a course there

It was like the blind leading the blind

Down a blind alley trying to find

Their blind spot, caught on the trot

With a pig's hoof and blind to the truth

The proof was in the pudding

Of the third eye and when I swallowed it down

I saw I was a spy, who had been taken over

By a consortium of lies

About the epoch and blind-sightedness

That covers up our eyes

And no I can't look the truth in the face

Who ever could stare direct at our race

And say yes I love this or no I hate that

Whether we are compared to a pig, or compared to a cat

We are animals in the frame just the same

Except Darwin could never remember his name

And Hamlet made such otherwordly claims

That for his weakness to be blindness, was enough to shoulder his blame

And Oedipus rex he couldn't complain

Of the virtue of truth telling

The blind and the lame

The good and the bad and down right mad

Who married his mother and murdered his dad